Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
