My friends, they love my intelligence
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Me too!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
