so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
