Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
