have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
