I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
