I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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