oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
false alarm, still single
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
