so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
