I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
