I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
