Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
