how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
