i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize