How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
