We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
