You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
