She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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