i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
