we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize