Welp...herpes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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