I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
