so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
