Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
