I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
