That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
