I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
