Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
