You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
