You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I will die if light touches me.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
