Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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