Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
