just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
