I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
