today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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