I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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