I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
