Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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