i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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