Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
