Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
