Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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