did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
