he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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