i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
