So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize