I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
