she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
