How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
