just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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