I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
