I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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