That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
