I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
