i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
