She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
