i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
