Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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