I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
And then he peed in my hair
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
