We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
