she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
