You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
