How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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