Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
