it hurts more in the daytime
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
